We can find freedom and love of self through forgiveness. Forgiveness is never about the other person. Why? Forgiveness is about releasing blocks including resentments and ways we disempower ourselves.
What is a betrayal? What is the frame we can put around this experience or word? Are we going to tell the story of how I was abused in multiple experiences? Or can I tell a hero’s journey of how I transformed my circumstances?
Louise Hay, the founder of Hay House, lived with her mother and step-father who physically, emotionally, and sexually abused her. At the age of 15 she ran away from home. She embraced any man who showed her kindness and soon became pregnant. The child was given up for adoption. Later she developed cancer. But because she began to study spiritual principles she began to see patterns in her life of her not loving herself and lacking self-esteem. She knew she had to change and began the journey not only of ridding her body of toxins and toxic food but also of ridding herself of toxic resentment. She did forgiveness healing and much more with a healer. She envisioned the person she resented as a small boy who was also abused.
What are some of the reasons we hold onto not forgiving? We see ourselves as the object of someone else’s attack. Forgiveness can be seen as an internal reorientation to transform your relationship with yourself. Who I am should not be based on how I am received or perceive my acceptance by others ( who often do not accept themselves). Unforgiveness is cloaked in layers of judgment. People usually have an unconscious relationship with God… God’s will is fine for them until it becomes inconvenient. I am the source of my own fulfillment. Is the universe or God ever against you?
In unforgiveness, we feel betrayed, we feel the need to judge ourselves or others with ill intentions or just not caring, we feel vulnerable, we do not trust, attachment to grief, attachment to being a victim, suffering gives me value, I need to feel superior to or better than, I/ other am not worthy of forgiveness, I feel powerless, I feel separate from others, I am angry the other offended me. Release these subconscious beliefs. Can you see how unforgiveness limits you and your potential?
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does change the present and it absolutely transforms your future. Jack Boland a Unity minister from Southfield Michigan, loathed his former brother-in-law. When told others what this guy had done to him, they all agreed the brother-in-law was a real jerk. Others supported him in his feeling like a victim. Jack got tired of hearing others validate how horrible he had been treated. Jack decided that this story was holding him back. Jack wanted to live in harmony with the principles of abundance and happiness. He went to work on forgiving. He began to send thoughts of love to him, but this did not work. But he noticed when he thought of his son as a little boy, he felt much love. So Jack would interject the thought of the brother in law when he was thinking of great love for his son. He was just trying to interject neutral feelings for the brother in law in order to get the toxic feelings out of his mind. When he felt resentment and betrayal, Jack was holding onto energy that prevented him from creating dreams for himself.
As Jack practiced seeing the brother in law when he thought of his son, he actually began seeing him as a little boy like his son. This exercise took months. Jack knew the healing was complete when one day he was stopped at a traffic light. A brand new Cadillac pulled up right next to him; he admired the car; then he noticed that his brother-in-law was driving it. What Jack felt was gladness for him. He just felt that without thinking. Jack was amazed at his response and knew that the brother-in-law did not have any control over his life. Jack was free.
The word Namaste means The divine light in me honors/sees the divine light in you. We are all connected. Forgiveness moves us from separation into connection. We become more powerful because we take responsibility for how we react/act. We are here either expressing love or calling for love no matter how charged the situation may seem. We never know the whole story behind someone else’s actions. If someone seems rude to you, their mindset may be stressed by circumstances you have no awareness of. Bless them.
Forgiveness is continuous, a way of being. The Dalai Lama says it is easy to be kind and compassionate with friends. He calls the Chinese Government his sacred friend. Rather than blaming his sacred friend or resenting him, he sees the sacred friend as a transformative agent who has helped him grow a big heart and much love.
Loving-kindness Meditation. This practice is used in the Buddhist community. May I be truly happy, May I live in peace, May I live in Love, May I know the power of forgiveness.
Then say the same for a member of your family whom you deeply love: May _____ be truly happy, May they live in Peace. May they live in love. May they know the power of forgiveness.
Now say the same prayer for someone with whom you have difficulty with. May you be free of suffering; may you have joy and happiness.
Check out the Ho’o Pono Pono story. A Hawaiian therapist healed an entire ward of criminally insane patients without ever meeting any of them or spending a moment in the same room. The therapist, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len healed them by healing himself. It was a miracle. Do you want miracles? Practice forgiveness.
Agnes Loughlin has a background as a nurse, nurse practitioner. Now she supports others to connect more to the joy in their life. She is certified as a Theta Healer, The Emotion Code, Potentiate Your DNA Facilitator, Higher Brain Living Facilitator, Life Mastery Institute Transformational teacher. She teaches at the Infinity Foundation, Radiant Health & Spirit, and Unity in Chicago.